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    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2012 edited
     
    CNN announced this several days ago. No reason was given for the attack by the Northern wild turkey's attack except a change in the weather and language. Authorities are bewildered and have no explanation for this Post holiday rampage..."They will be punished to the fullest extent of the law" quoted the Sherriff of Biloxi, Mississippi on the grounds of the family home of PresIdent Jefferson Davis,United Confederacy of the South. No attacks were found on the grounds and the Turkeys struck at the casinos that line the beautiful Gulf Coast with their purple carpets and tastless nickell slot
    machines. 'It is a bewilderment", sajd the local sheriff. Dangest thing I ever did see."

    *True storey I picked up on a local station while traveling through the area while on holidays. Didn't get whole story, but thought it funny considering our occasional comments on the State of Mississippi*
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2012
     
    Although embellished...this is A true storey and can be verified...
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2012
     
    You forgot the part where the sheriff puts his pinkie finger in his ear and roots around for earwax.
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      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2012
     
    I think something needs to attack Southern Mississippi. Wild turkeys are a good start.

    Y'all gobble back now, y'hear?
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2012
     
    Actually it is quite nice if you avoid the purple shag cRPET. wEATHER IS SUITABLE AND BEACHES FINE. a LOT OF RETIRED VETERANS AND LOST SOULS, TOO. cAPS LIFTED.. mE, NOT COMPUTER. THINK OF IT AS EXPERIMENTAL ART.
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2012
     
    Why am I making excuses for Mississippi anyway. Never spent nuch time ther but could not tell much difference than any other place. Some people find pleasure in knocking what they do not know. Tell me about Canada Thumb..Woth the cold.
    I am not too in
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2012
     
    We are a wild people. We cut down trees, we eat our lunch, that kind of thing. We Put on gladiator uniforms, strap rails on our feet, and skid across frozen ponds just to crash into people, maim them, then buy them a Tim Horton's coffee.

    Yes we are a Nation of contradictions. We are always contradicting each other. The wild Giant Pandas battle it out for control of the tundra with the wild salmon, who leap out of the water and deliver 3 or 4 slaps about the unsuspecting (but very cute) bears' chops. The record is seven, but it gave the panda time to recover and deliver a right hook. That's how the name "Sockeye" came about. It is part of our legend.

    Thumble has spoken to you of Canada.
  1.  
    Where exactly is that thing called Canada?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2012
     
    It's that big stretch of wilderness between Minnesota and the North Pole. Lots of bears and salmon. And at least two people: Thumble and Tim Horton.
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2012
     
    And frisky sockeye salmon.
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2012
     
    I will have you know that Minnesota is North of Toronto, Mrs Thing. In fact, i think the Tiimberwolves are playing the Toronto Raptors at the North Pole next Sunday.

    I hear the Sockeye are really wild in Minn. They have UFC Salmon, and have taken tail-slapping to a whole new level. They have been known to stick the gill in when their opponents go down. It's on a whole different scale, and is spawning a whole new sport, but the promoters are fighting an upstream battle. A couple of the Salmon killer-slappers are on Death Roe.

    On a more serious note, believe it or not, Tim Horton died 38 years ago next week driving > 100 mph on the Queen Elizabeth Highway between Buffalo and Hamilton, Ontario. RIP, Tim.
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2012
     
    OMG, I think I saw that accident! No wait--it was longer ago than that. We were driving in Ontario, and were passed like we were going backwards by some rude young man in a small sports car. 10 minutes later, a couple of cop cars when screaming past us, and we saw the car on its roof down a steep rocky embankment...burning. If the guy got out, it was because he was ejected from the vehicle. It was a long way down. A one-way trip, no doubt.

    But on a happier note: I love sockeye salmon. As long as it's dead and cooked and on my plate, no hope of slapping.
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 15th 2012
     
    He was driving a 1974 De Tomaso Pantera - his dream car. In retrospect a better way to go than being slammed through the glass by some goon from the Philadelphia Flyers.

    The QEW was quite the raceway back then - especially St Catharines to Hamilton, which is the stretch he died on.

    I think he was distracted by some wild gobblers from Mississippi.

    Sorry, needed closure on the topic.
  2.  
    really
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 16th 2012
     
    Wild gobblers attacking Mississippi was a current event as were dead racers...just something I picked up on the road...:wink:
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 17th 2012
     
    I guess I didn't make myself very clear...

    Ahem....ahem.....

    I JUST NEEDED CLOSURE ON THE SUBJECT!!!!!! FUCK THE WILD GOBBLERS!!!!!

    oooh...same meter as Puff the Magic Dragon.

    Cool

    Bipolar in Richmond Hill...
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeFeb 18th 2012
     
    Nope. I got nothin'.
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 18th 2012 edited
     
    *Zelda flips Thumb a cautionary glare*

    Nothin, Mrsthing? I know where you can find some wild gobbler's!

    *Spiff*, with the whiff of a wand, Thumble disintegrates into the turkey dressing.

    :cool:
    • CommentAuthorzelda
    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2012
     
    *A hand slowly comes out of the dressing wraps around Zelda's delicate ankle and "thrump"...she disappears slipping into the pie*

    "Oh , Thumby, it is you. It was always you". "Yes, my little chopped liver, twas we" he gobbled.

    The End