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WTF?: Do you?

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- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 9th 2011
Recently our good friend bigallala made the comment "any woman would do me". I took his comment as the rather arrogant statement "any woman would fuck me". In reality, who but Tom Cruise, or Roger Moore 30 years ago, could honestly say "any woman would fuck me"?

I realized what biggy-boy meant was "any woman would suffice"....to receive the benefit of his manhood.

"Big" difference.

So how about a little analysis of the usage of this most powerful verb?

If, like me, one assumes that in the majority of cases, "to do" means "to fuck", what does this mean for society?

For example, if one is being introduced to the Queen, would one say "Your Majesty, how fuck you fuck? One would likely not be amused, but too doing bad.

Any other thoughts? I have many. I will fuck my best.
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 9th 2011
I have a few thoughts, but I'm laughing too hard right now to put them together.

I'm so glad you're here, thumble! I really needed a laugh tonight!
- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 9th 2011
Fuck you really Mrs T? That makes me feel warm. Fuck you too?
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 9th 2011 edited
How f...you fuck? I f...quite well thank you. I think you f... well too, I do.

Shall we have more to f..., when we are f....ked? I suppose we f....k, so let us f....it!

*I can be such a tiresome prude*
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
There once was a public forum
Completely devoid of decorum
"To do" is "to fuck"
Said thumble with pluck
"LOL" said the whole doing quorum
- CommentAuthorkisch
- CommentTimeDec 14th 2011
I wouldn't fuck Tom Criuse, bleh.
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 15th 2011 edited
I agree...He is just a little sofa jumping twerp...poor Katy and little baby girl the future of Scientology (no putdown). What a twist if she marries a royal.
I vote for Camilla (sic) Cheese. That should be something to look forward to. Just think of the rollicking thrills!!! Go Harry! Plus she is gorgeous!
- CommentAuthorbiggalalla
- CommentTimeDec 15th 2011
Do you know that cold potatoes ain`t hot
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 16th 2011
I agree, Kisch, I wouldn't fuck Tom Cruise (yukkk!)
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 16th 2011
Me neither. How anybody could spend 5 minutes mashed against that ugly shnozz of his is a mystery to me. And if he jumps on people's sofas on TV, what on earth is he like in bed? Anyway, he's too short for me. And too young.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 21st 2011
He's just disgusting...
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 22nd 2011
I jusy never got it. Better Jude Law.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 24th 2011
Jude Law is okay. I'm not a fan of him, but he's okay.
- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 24th 2011
Just back from the territories chaps. Cabbage crates over the briny, what?

Mrs T, I ROFLMAO'd - not sure if that's a verb that can be conjugated but you fuck what you've got to fuck - at your Limerick!!! Still doing laughing - hahahahah One of the best doing laughs I've had for while.

BTW, you would do me just fine - just keep whispering those 5-liners in my ear
- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 24th 2011
The loquacious and bright MrsTitty
Once attended a Universe-City
But she caught ARSE!! Tourettes -
CUNT!! how soon one forgets,
Now she's FUCK! stuck with us, more's the pity.

I no idea why the do this came out of my brain at 9am on a Saturday. Must have something to fuck with Christmas
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 24th 2011
LOL! It's very good, Thumble!

Let's write limerics using the F-word! I'll do it later today perhaps.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
There once was a Merry Christmas Eve,
When Xmas lunch was fried by Fry the Steve,
Fried potato, turkey, duck,
'It's burnt,' said Steve. 'Oh, fuck!'
'I've just got apples like Adam and Eve!'
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
Xmas Eve on the forum, this year
Is more silent, fucking deserted, (oh) dear!
Not even John's around
We're buried (alive) under ground.
Need old members to get back on top gear.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
There once was a forum on Xmas Eve
It seemed everybody wanted to leave.
It was the forum of Cheese,
Where no cheese was sold by Cleese.
Members loved it, there was much to achieve.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
There was a forum, where we could say fuck,
Even on Xmas Eve, while eating duck.
The bloody turkey was burned
Therefore to the duck we turned.
Because of that, it's a relief to say fuck.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
There was a forum, where we could say fuck,
It's closing down, it's a bloody suck.
We used swear words just for fun,
We said bum more times than bun.
Cleesian forum's a good place to say fuck.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
It's Xmas, it's going away soon, fuck!
New Year's coming, we all need more luck,
(We're) hitting our head with a brick,
Think, what to do, what the dick.
The last line should rhyme with fuck... suck!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
Well, most of them aren't the best, but I'm still thinking about better ones. :-)

Happy fucking Xmas, everybody!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 25th 2011 edited
There once was a fucking Santa Claus,
Arriving with his reindeer, must be close;
'Don't give me milk, I want beer!'
'Milk is for fucking reindeer!'
Dasher kicked him to give him a red nose.

'More respect, Santa, or you'll be dead!'
'Oh, fuck, I look like Rudolph', Santa said.
Santa was tapping his nose.
It was as red as a rose.
Dasher said: '(next time) I'll fracture your fucking head!'
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
For dinner, some birds I am pluckin'
for making my Christmas turducken
I'm stuffing its cavity
With fowl depravity
I'm a fuckin' duck-pluckin' turducken

chef.

sorry
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
Good one, MrsT!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
Sure is sure, I saved these ones for a possible next book, guys.
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
We know I do not like the word f...
So then I shall just say, Duck.
If a Duck you must do
Make sure there is no glue
Or your duck will always be stuck up it's flue...:)
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
Nice one.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
Santa was angry, 'Dasher, I'll sack you!'
'You're nothing without us, we'll leave you, too!'
Rudolph said, (the) one with red nose.
'Why don't we speak in prose?'
Asked Santa, and went into the loo.

'You're so fucking arrogant, Santa Claus!
Rudolph said, (now the) pair had identical nose.
'Your name's Rude-olph, cos you're rude!'
'Don't make me angry, dude!'
Rud said. 'There's a question I want to pose!'
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
More to come, but feel free to continue!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 28th 2011
Hey people, do continue it!
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 28th 2011
Later please, Chrissy.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 28th 2011
OK.
- CommentAuthorbiggalalla
- CommentTimeDec 29th 2011 edited
Hey Santa if you get stuck in the shitter

we`ll ask someone on Twitter

to drive the Sleigh ,

you saying i got a fat arse , cried Santa !!

you`ll have a sore one in a moment Rude,

so lets have no more of your banter.
- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
I think you guys have invented a new form of verse. I'll call it a Cheeserick. It seems to be a cross between the Limerick, Haiku, blank verse and iambic pentameter. OK, I'm being generous on a few of those ;)

Santa in Haiku:

The old bearded man
Thinking only of giving
Reindeer grant him wings.

Santa in Iambic pentameter:

The one in red, full bearded, see him soar
From roof to roof with fully laden flight
For children far and wide, a sacred chore
The ages bearing witness to this night.

Santa in Cheeserick

A boring old fatso named Santa
Hated Christmas and all of its banter
So the lazy old cunt
Played a devilish stunt
And flew overnight to Atlanta.
- CommentAuthorzelda
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
Duck you, Big.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
Well done, guys!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
Thumble, you're great! Yeah, our limmerick style is rather our own, but it's better than according to the original rules. I don't give a damn to the rules like long beats and short ones! So, yes, CHEESERICK RULES! OR CLEESERICK!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
Although, he is now in row with Eric Idle, perhaps we should re-name the suffix not to sound like Eric.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
What about Cleesemerick? It still ends with 'Erick', but because of the m it sounds more softly.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
OK, your poems are also saved, guys.
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
"Klezmerick?"

thumble, I love your poems. Just lovely! Sigh....
- CommentAuthorthumble
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
*blush*

You are my muse MrsT - I make my rhymes for you (truly)

T
- CommentAuthorbiggalalla
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
It seems our Thumble
would like to take a tumble
but would mrs T agree,
I think not cause you see ,
in love she is with Mr T ,
and he would grumble.
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
Oh, fuck Mr. Thing!

Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea! MR. THIIIIING!!! Come here, you hot hunk o' lovin' you!
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
I'm sure I'm going to be sorry about a few of these posts in the morning.
- CommentAuthormrsthing
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
But right now, they're funny as hell!
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
Klezmerick also sounds good.
- CommentAuthorchris14
- CommentTimeDec 31st 2011
Well done, Big!

There's nothing to feel sorry for, MrsT. MrT will understand it...

1 to 50 of 58

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