2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/ Lussumo Vanilla & Feed Publisher http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75155#Comment_75155 2011-08-12T18:21:36+01:00 2011-08-12T18:30:10+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

...as well as the innocent. I can tell this story, finally. A couple of months ago, I was on Ancestry.com and found a 1930 census record listing my mother's cousin Mary Parker, her brother ...

I can tell this story, finally.

A couple of months ago, I was on Ancestry.com and found a 1930 census record listing my mother's cousin Mary Parker, her brother David, and another brother, James, who I'd never heard of. Since a lot of families took in children to board during the Great Depression, I just figured that was the case and added him to my family tree. David was dead, and I couldn't ask Mary. She had a stroke 3 years ago and can't talk or even understand what people say to her.

Not long after that, I got a message on my Ancestry account from a total stranger named Sue, saying, "I think your relative James is my friend John's father. He's using a different name, Michael Johnson, but his wife mentioned that he had a sister and brother with the same names as the ones on your family tree, and the same parents' names, and they lived in that town around 1930. Will you please contact me?"

I was highly suspicious, though I had to admit, I couldn't figure out what she had to gain by learning about James. But I contacted two cousins, both of whom said, "That's interesting. James went missing around 1970 and was never heard from again."

So I contacted Sue and told her what I knew. I asked her where she got her information. She said her friend John had always wondered about his father's family. His father said he was an only child and both his parents were dead, but some months before, when he was very ill and not expected to live, his wife (John's mother) told John that his father had be born James Parker. James had taken her to visit his parents' graves, and was upset to see a stone marked "Grandson", because if he was an only child, and never had any children of his own, how could there be a grandson? (It was set aside for David's mentally handicapped grandson, who is still living.)

A cousin had sent me my grandmother's diaries, and from them I learned that James had had a wife called Arlene and they had been frequent visitors to my grandmother's apartment in Boston, and had visited my parents' home in the suburbs. His first wife had come to give my mother some baby gifts when I was a month old. The diaries mentioned a son named Donald.

So it was looking more and more like Michael Johnson was the missing James Parker. Too many details, like his Coast Guard service, matched. Then I got in contact with John. He revealed that his mother had told him that James had been married before and had two children called Donna and Brian. He told his wife that he'd come home from work one day, found his first wife and the kids gone without a trace. He tried to find them in her hometown, but no luck. So the hunt was on to find the first wife and the kids, if they were still living.

Another cousin of mine, one of David's grandsons, who'd been involved in this quest, emailed his half-brother, who happened to be in touch with James and Arlene's children. But there weren't only two, there were SEVEN! Six are still living; one passed away in 2005, and their mother died in 1995. Eventually I got in contact with two of them and learned the long, complicated story about their childhoods: James was often missing for months or years at a time; and finally disappeared after the birth of the seventh child. He'd made no attempt to contact them. They didn't know that he had returned a few years later to divorce their mother.

Meanwhile, he'd set up with another wife in another state, unbeknownst to Arlene and her children. He and his second wife had two sons, John and Brian. Eventually, they got in touch with their brothers and sisters, one of whom wanted to visit his father. He just got there in the nick of time; James was on his deathbed, and this time, he'd requested not to be revived, and had had all life support cut off except oxygen and pain meds. He was very happy to see his son, whom he remembered, and to hear from his daughter, whom he also remembered. She asked him why he'd left the family, and he said, "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it." He had lied about everything, including not remembering any other children--he rattled off all the names, even on his deathbed.

Sadly, he passed away yesterday.

John's mother told him that there were documents in a safe deposit box that would come to him after his father's death. We're all wondering if there'll be any more information, as the last source of it can't tell us anything more. But I'll have to wait to find out.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75200#Comment_75200 2011-08-13T02:50:21+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 chris14 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=42

RIP, James. It is really good that he finally could meet his family (even if it was all his fault) and to explain himself before he died. It must be a great relief for him too. It's like in a ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75214#Comment_75214 2011-08-13T03:10:52+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

Well, none of them know him very well, because he was gone so much. One of his daughters wanted to see him, but she wasn't able to get there in time. We don't know where one of the sons is; he lost ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75219#Comment_75219 2011-08-13T03:20:49+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 chris14 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=42

Yeah, but at least he's gone with a lighter press on his shoulders.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75237#Comment_75237 2011-08-13T05:58:51+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

awww, good and sad story all at the same time!

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75265#Comment_75265 2011-08-13T18:33:43+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

The daughter I'm in touch with worked out that he had 9 children, 12 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren!

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75284#Comment_75284 2011-08-14T01:48:58+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Wow. That is a truly interesting story. It took a lot to pull all those facts together, and then get the true picture of the puzzle. I met someone some years ago who told me that his wife and child ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75285#Comment_75285 2011-08-14T01:52:04+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Hey when you get back on that Parker line, I have some Parker. We might connect!Mine's back a few centuries, though.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75286#Comment_75286 2011-08-14T01:53:14+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Oh.....wait.....you changed the last names, too, didn't you?.....to protect the guilty?.....

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75337#Comment_75337 2011-08-14T18:00:19+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

Yes, all the names are changed. Not even remotely similar. I think with James, it was like that song by John Mellencamp: "Like a river that don't know where it's flowin', I took a wrong turn ...

I think with James, it was like that song by John Mellencamp: "Like a river that don't know where it's flowin', I took a wrong turn and I just kept goin'..." He had no explanation for what he did, just said, "I don't know." He did say he was sorry, though. Too bad he didn't live long enough to meet the rest of his children, grandchildren, and great-grands.

But we all know about each other now, and I hope to meet one of them who lives about 3 hours away. The others are much further than that, and I'd have to fly.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75360#Comment_75360 2011-08-15T04:41:17+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

wow. It will be interesting to compare traits.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75364#Comment_75364 2011-08-15T16:31:56+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

We've seen a few pictures, and the Parker/Johnson siblings look amazingly alike. You would know they were related. Similar eyes and smiles.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75590#Comment_75590 2011-08-20T04:49:09+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 chris14 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=42

That's really cool.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75600#Comment_75600 2011-08-20T04:58:50+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Yes, it is. I'm proud for you, Mrsthing! So you are going to organize a get-together with them?

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75602#Comment_75602 2011-08-20T05:04:19+01:00 2011-08-20T05:05:26+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

There are reading sessions, meetings, speakers, and pot-luck dinners in the old house of someone in my family from years ago -- I hope to go there this winter, perhaps, but if not this one, then ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75612#Comment_75612 2011-08-20T05:59:56+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 zelda http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=12

That is a lovely memory and vision. If you are wierd than I am, too.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75629#Comment_75629 2011-08-20T16:58:24+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

I'm just a second cousin, so no, I'm not organzing a reunion. They're doing it, though, and I asked them to please include me, as I'd love to meet these members of my family that I never knew I had. ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75671#Comment_75671 2011-08-21T03:24:13+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Oh, I hope you go, Mrsthing! These are such priceless, priceless things. Yes, you are weird, too, Zelda, if I sucked you into that vision, no, actually, no. I shouldn't do that. Yes, it is one of ...

I want to eat the food, and hear what they say that day at the meeting, or any day.
Here's a memory for you -- I am just a small slip of a girl, tiny for my age. I am maybe six, wading through the shallow water and pushing the fishing boat into the docking area by the short pier. The water is constantly moving, but never really fast. The water is so clear you can see each and every rock on the bottom of the river bed. The water has been warmed by the Indiana sun filtering down through trees. Even the island, which faces the swifter, deeper side of the river, has these trees. There's so many trees that sometimes you think it could be night, because they block out the day and make everything cool to the touch. At the top of the riverbank is the log cabin where I will sleep that night. Chipmunks are scurrying near the big window, waiting to see if I'm going to toss out some food.
I have all the time in the world, and so do they. I follow the path up the ravine and think about the Indian Warriors who once ran down these river banks. I decide that because I tan so easily and so darkly, I am more than likely Native American. It thrills me to no end. Now, that is how I spent my summers, while very young.
That is a place that centers me. My grandfather had arrowheads and tomahawks in the masonry around the fireplace. They'd been dug up on that land. I remember visiting some relatives a little further down from that place, but just can't seem to recall exactly who those people were, other than they were family. But I remember hominy and sorghum growing in the fields, and wild blackberries. We'd have a campfire outside for mashmallows, and a fire in the fireplace inside. So cozy. Cabin was full logs throughout.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75672#Comment_75672 2011-08-21T03:25:44+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

I wasn't by myself with the boat. My grandparents were always there.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75679#Comment_75679 2011-08-21T03:43:45+01:00 2011-08-23T03:09:58+01:00 zelda http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=12

Very wise, Fan. Very wise. We spent our summers in foreign countries, like France, England Italy We spent our time shopping, eating in restaurants and meeting my familie's friends. I was not ...

We spent our summers in foreign countries, like France, England Italy We spent our time shopping, eating in restaurants and meeting my familie's friends. I was not wierd. It was interestng. Spent many trip seeing the usa.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75681#Comment_75681 2011-08-21T03:49:10+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

Yeah. Sounds interesting! What a great education that was!

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75712#Comment_75712 2011-08-22T18:08:47+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

I spent my childhood summers car camping all over the US. Well, we made it to 33 states; 35 if you count when we accidentally blundered into South Carolina when we got lost, and the time I stood in ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75729#Comment_75729 2011-08-23T03:18:02+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

We camped all over as a family, too. I loved it. I still do. Haven't been in awhile, but took my own kids camping a number of times, couldn't afford to go far, but still had a huge time. Love being ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75740#Comment_75740 2011-08-23T20:45:32+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 mrsthing http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=4

No more sleeping on the ground for me. My back won't take it. :-(

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75766#Comment_75766 2011-08-24T03:06:11+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

air mattress - great fun outdoors. We ended up buying one for camping, not because of back problems, but because of how cold the ground gets at night, although I've slept on the ground, too. But the ...

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75768#Comment_75768 2011-08-24T03:10:18+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

If you get the air mattresses, you can bounce around on it when you're bored. However, it puts you up closer to the top of the tent, which is a trip, because it made me feel like a giant.

http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1898&Focus=75769#Comment_75769 2011-08-24T03:11:38+01:00 2013-05-18T19:05:46+01:00 msfannytwinkle-butt http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/account.php?u=207

We bought ours on sale at a thrift shop and it had a hole in it, so we were putting air into it all the time, then saved up for a new air mattress, and got it, will get another. Worth the money. It ...