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    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010 edited
     
    Oh...my. I guess those stem cell treatments are working, John! No further questions!

    "Camilla dating Michael Winner? Absolutely NOT! I know where that thing has been, and I don't want it anywhere near my daughter!"

    No, I think he'd really say, "She's a grown up; I'm not going to tell her what to do. If she's happy, that's all that's important."

    While thinking, "But if she gets pregnant by that bastard, I will not acknowledge their demon spawn!"
  1.  
    John, did you ever have an ear torn off by a mongoose?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    "I...No, I...That was just hearsay; no one can prove the mongoose and I were engaged in rough sex when my ear was torn (not ripped off)."

    John, what is your favorite smell?
  2.  
    "Ask Cad. We have the same taste in that area. Er...yes"
  3.  
    John, what would you do if Garry resigned?
  4.  
    I would hire the entire population of that marvelous forum of mine. I'm sure between the lot of them something would get done eventually.

    John, what about the rumors that your favorite article of clothing is a gold velour track suit?
  5.  
    "Oh, you've read about it on the Daily Mail, right? Dear girls, will you ever learn not to believe every single word you read on those shitty tabloids, that's a pile of rubbish!

    Silver. That's the colour."
  6.  
    John, tell us about the girl (I assume it was a girl) to whom you lost your virginity to. How was the whole thing?
  7.  
    A bit rubbish, actually. Silly thing had no idea what she was doing. I had to walk her through every step. Where do you think the sketch in MoL came from?

    John, how long does it take you to polish your awards every morning?
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    ask garry.
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    when did you last have sex with mikey?
  8.  
    Ask Gary ,He does it .



    John, Do the people on here write your scripts?
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010 edited
     
    ask garry. again.
  9.  
    "Mikey? Oh, don't ask Garry. He wasn't my servant when it happened. Let me think...June 1967, mmm...or was it 1968...no, no, my memory refuses to cooperate with me at this moment.

    Mmm, can you...can you bow yourself a little more?..."


    John, what are you* doing in this very moment?


    * Sory MR Thumbl im no perfect, my englisch very bed, very very bed end iven if i try my best i some time forget words to type. forgive me?
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    Contemplating the utter inanity of your silly foreign question... (no I didn't miss a bloody "s")


    John, how many sheds do you have?
    •  
      CommentAuthorCPDolly
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    "Less than Mr. Two Sheds, if that's what you mean, moron."


    John, why have you forsaken us?
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    because you're all grown-ups
  10.  
    "Oohh...I haven't. I was just busy with some...well, I was inattentive."

    John, do you think that some of us (me) are really too vulgar and rude towards you?
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    get a life you sad *ucks
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    how are you john?
  11.  
    "Ask Garry"
    •  
      CommentAuthorkumbaya
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2010
     
    "Less than Mr. Two Sheds, if that's what you mean, moron."

    If you are referring to my good friend Arthur (two sheds) Jackson then I wish to register a complaint.

    John, what is your complaint about Arthur, and why can't you finish an interview? Must you automatically multiply everything by 4, and why can't you answer more than one question at a time. I could go on.
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2010
     
    "To go back a bit: The girl to whom I lost my virginity, whom I shall refer to as "Kiwi", was a girl around my age who had taken a fancy to me. I thought, "Well, I'm 24 years old, I'd better get this over with." So I went to a store to buy her some perfume, thinking that if she smelled really good, I might enjoy it a bit more. So I tried several perfumes on myself, and picked one. But I had to have a New Zealand driving test before our hookup. I went to my test reeking of women's perfume. The driving instructor must have wondered... But later that night, on the second floor of the Station House Hotel in Auckland, Kiwi helped me break my duck."

    "At least, that's about the way I usually tell it..." :wink::wink:
  12.  
    *time out*
    I protest MrsT!! I thought my answer was clever enough!
    *time in*

    John, my purple banana hammock doesn't fit anymore. Would you like to have it?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2010
     
    *time out*
    PG, that's about the way he's told the story on camera.
    *time in*

    "Ha ha, very clever, Miss PG! I will have your hammock only if the fuzzy grapes are still attached."
  13.  
    *time out*
    Oh ok. Sorry MrsT! I'll quite crying now. *sniff*
    *time in! *
    • CommentAuthorcough
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2010
     
    oi john
    how come you always log in on the 8th?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2010
     
    That's his monthly log-on day. That's how he remembers it.
  14.  
    "he"?
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaute
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2010
     
    Well... i´m not sure!
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaute
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2010
     
    It sent me underpants ... Could you please send a suspenders?
  15.  
    I just meant, if we ARE John Cleese in this thread, we should at least play the part persistently.

    And no.


    John, Are corn kennels anything like dog kennels? And is not, why be so lazy as to use the same word?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2010
     
    It's corn kernels, not kennels....a kennel is for dogs and it's an army rank...right?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2010
     
    Is there an army rank called "kennel", or did I dream that?
  16.  
    Colonel?
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2010
     
    I know. I was joking.
  17.  
    Why do you people pronounce it like that anyway? Makes no sense
    • CommentAuthormrsthing
    • CommentTimeJun 11th 2010
     
    I haven't got the foggiest idea! Maybe it comes from Japanese?
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaute
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2010
     
    want to return to the game? I think Naughty Opossum is right. (I said this, not Jack).
  18.  
    Wish he did :(
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaute
    • CommentTimeOct 27th 2010
     
    Now that your knee has recovered. You can do the silly walk?
    •  
      CommentAuthorchris14
    • CommentTimeOct 27th 2010
     
    Yes, I can do it now, but I'll do it for nobody's sake. Sorry.