Fri, 24 May 2013 10:45:41 +0100 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1995 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1995 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 04:35:10 +0000 zelda http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=2033 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=2033 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:44:27 +0000 thumble
Any other ideas? The winner gets to carve it into the carcass before we drive stake through it.

Am I being too harsh? Would a simple funeral pyre suffice?]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1753 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1753 Sat, 23 Apr 2011 21:13:36 +0100 WmCElliott
Note: Keep reading until the Happy Ending, below.

I lost my job at Rocketdyne as of New Years Eve, and soon after my health insurance benefits ran out, discovered my skin was becoming populated with moles at an ever-increasing rate. I did some research on-line, and discovered exactly what I'd already known and what you've all already guessed. I did find some alternative medical sources that implied I could handle this with OTC nutritional substances that had a chance of working, unlike the conventional medical treatments that could only prolong things and make the interim unbearable, assuming I could afford the toll, which I couldn't.

I tried the OTC supplements, and they worked, some, but not enough, but last week I decided to go full-tilt and try the therapy of last-resort, IntraVenous Vitamin C MegaDosing (hereafter referred-to as "IV VitC").

I thought I'd have to drive to another state (or perhaps to Mexico) to get the treatment, but ran across an advertisement for a place in California, about 400miles away, and called them to ask if they knew of any place closer, and they provided me with a list of local places where I could get the IV VitC I was looking for.

I made an appointment and got the treatment the following day, but not for the "Megadose" quantity I'd hoped for (based on Linus Pauling's research and my body weight). I was getting about 1/3rd what I felt was needed. I made another call to another place and found that they would be happy to administer greater doses (at a higher cost, but what else is new?), so had another appointment a couple days later.

That was a couple days ago.

Today, I feel like I've got the flu and have a "productive cough" (if you don't already know what that means, consider yourself lucky). It was to be expected, they have a funny name for it, I forget how to spell it, but it basically means that the body's immune system is kinda overloaded getting rid of dead cells.

On the other hand, while feeling like sh*t, I can't complain because virtually every "new mole" that I'd been worrying about has dried up and fallen off in the last two days.

I go back Monday for an even larger dose, just to stomp this into the ground so I never have to worry whether something got missed and comes back with a vengeance.

So, in short, one week ago I had Metastatic Melanoma and an official life expectancy of less than six months. Today, all visible melanomas are now dead, being replaced by fresh, pink, healthy skin. It took two doses of IV Vitamin C to achieve this in less than a week.

It's no longer a theoretical construct based on critical review of scientific studies for me, it's a matter of personal experience.

IV Vitamin C therapy killed the fastest-acting/deadliest cancer known in less than one week.

I heartily recommend it for anyone who even *suspects* they may have cancer.

Please forward this information to any and all to whom it may apply.

BTW, regarding "losing my job", I've taken over my 401k investments and made more money last month in silver bullion than I would've made from my regular paycheck. I bought at $35/oz, it's now selling close to $50 (and looks like it's going to keep running all the way up to $100/oz, so it's not too late to buy).

:)]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1661 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1661 Thu, 23 Dec 2010 23:26:07 +0000 Lozzykinz
Merry christmas everybody.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1355 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1355 Sat, 29 May 2010 20:44:47 +0100 Naughty Opossum
Now we all know (except for Cough) that celebrities tend to die in threes. So, who do think will die tomorrow?


(This is me hoping it's not our JC)

May they rest in peace....]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1593 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1593 Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:39:29 +0100 WmCElliott
Along the way, I noted some research papers that were written by reputable scientists (including Nobel Laureate Linus Pauling) that Vitamin C, in sufficiently high doses, kills-off cancer cells of various sorts while leaving normal cells alone.

Pauling suggested, 50 years ago, that this was likely to be due to the energy mechanism of the cancerous cells mistaking ascorbic acid for glucose, which has the side-effect of creating hydrogen peroxide within the cancerous cell, and it turns out, most (if not all) cancers are *also* unusually sensitive to hydrogen peroxide, dying at dosages that normal cells shrug-off. Unfortunately for us all, Pauling also protested the Viet Nam War, and was thereafter the subject of a government smear campaign, which included all his work in biochemistry.

Recent research (esp., outside the US) has supported all of his claims about Vitamin C (and hydrogen peroxide) and cancer.

So, the problem became one of getting the peroxide and/or Vitamin C through the cancerous cells' membranes so as to kill them off.

There's a solvent called "DMSO" sold via the internet that is known to penetrate the tissues of the body as if no cell membranes existed, and has the useful property that anything mixed with it gets dragged along, as well. (I did some research on this back when I was Dir. of BioEngr. Research, looking for a way to get insulin into diabetics without using hypodermic needles, but alas, insulin is too big a molecule to get dragged-along by DMSO.)

Vitamin C and hydrogen peroxide, though, are relatively small molecules (compared to insulin), and I happened to have some DMSO left-over from my prior research, so I mixed some up with hydrogen peroxide and applied it to the liverspot (maybe melanoma), and it fizzed a bit and stung slightly, but nothing unbearable, and I was comforted by the fact that this is precisely what I'd expect if it were indeed killing certain cancerous cells and leaving the normal cells alone. A couple days later, there was some flaking of dead skin over the liverspot, and I repeated the procedure, this time experiencing less sizzling and less stinging, and repeated it one more time, and the third time, no reactions at all.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1610 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1610 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 20:03:14 +0100 Naughty Opossum Bulwer–Lytton Fiction Contest)


The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sulkily and, buffing her already impeccable nails--not for the first time since the journey began--pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil.

--Gail Cain, San Francisco, California (1983 Winner)


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong, clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, "Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal."

--Steven Garman, Pensacola, Florida (1984 Winner)


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.

--Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York (1986 Winner)


The notes blatted skyward as the sun rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically peddling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by Nature's maxim, "Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work," and at last I knew Pittsburgh.

--Sheila B. Richter, Minneapolis, Minnesota (1987 Winner)


Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit molding her body, which was as warm as the seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven--fueled by a single accelerant--and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the right road, a man like Alf Romeo.

--Rachel E. Sheeley, Williamsburg, Indiana (1988 Winner)


Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.

--Linda Vernon, Newark, California (1990 Winner)


Sultry it was and humid, but no whisper of air caused the plump, laden spears of golden grain to nod their burdened heads as they unheedingly awaited the cyclic rape of their gleaming treasure, while overhead the burning orb of luminescence ascended its ever-upward path toward a sweltering celestial apex, for although it is not in Kansas that our story takes place, it looks godawful like it.

--Judy Frazier, Lathrop, Missouri (1991 Winner)


She wasn't really my type, a hard-looking but untalented reporter from the local cat box liner, but the first second that the third-rate representative of the fourth estate cracked open a new fifth of old Scotch, my sixth sense said seventh heaven was as close as an eighth note from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, so, nervous as a tenth grader drowning in eleventh-hour cramming for a physics exam, I swept her into my longing arms, and, humming "The Twelfth of Never," I got lucky on Friday the thirteenth.

--Wm. W. "Buddy" Ocheltree, Port Townsend, Washington (1993 Winner)


The corpse exuded the irresistible aroma of a piquant, ancho chili glaze enticingly enhanced with a hint of fresh cilantro as it lay before him, coyly garnished by a garland of variegated radicchio and caramelized onions, and impishly drizzled with glistening rivulets of vintage balsamic vinegar and roasted garlic oil; yes, as he surveyed the body of the slain food critic slumped on the floor of the cozy, but nearly empty, bistro, a quick inventory of his senses told corpulent Inspector Moreau that this was, in all likelihood, an inside job.

--Bob Perry, Milton, Massachusetts (1998 Winner)]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1604 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1604 Wed, 06 Oct 2010 17:35:54 +0100 WmCElliott
http://www.physorg.com/news205578613.html

Bones restored with dried plum in aging mice
October 6, 2010 By Steve Tokar
A diet supplemented with powdered dried plum restored bone lost by mice during the course of normal aging, in a study led by a researcher at the San Francisco VA Medical Center.

“This may be the first natural product we have identified that is capable of restoring bone that’s been lost due to aging,” says principal investigator Bernard P. Halloran, PhD, a senior research scientist at SFVAMC and an adjunct professor of medicine at the University of California, San Francisco.
“As we age, we all lose bone, and over half of all people age 50 and older develop osteoporosis, a disease where the bone becomes weak and easily fractures,” explains Halloran. “Many will suffer painful hip and spine fractures. Current medications, for the most part, can only slow the rate of bone loss. We do not have an easy-to-use drug today that can put back bone that’s been already lost.”]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1508 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1508 Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:29:28 +0100 Lozzykinz






God i'm depressed.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1497 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1497 Mon, 02 Aug 2010 18:38:08 +0100 osiris There are Hindus and Mormons and then
There are those that follow Mohammad, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on,
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came, because

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs,
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Morman,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine,
God needs everybody's,
Mine, and mine, and mine.

Let the pagans spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1489 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1489 Mon, 02 Aug 2010 02:25:33 +0100 osiris Perhaps you remember my exploits as commanding general of all the people of a land you call Egypt, but it was not Egypt for me. It was paradise.

I am the Half Brother of the Pharaoh Hatshepsut,
and I have returned, If only to speak with my mother again.

So talk about this.

Love,
Michael, The Valkyrie]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1226 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1226 Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:06:03 +0000 Valetudinaria ]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1406 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1406 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:24:31 +0100 Lozzykinz



God i'm bored...

Goodnight.]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1299 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1299 Sun, 02 May 2010 21:19:10 +0100 mrsthing
I just started reading your column, and I must say, it's very informative! My question is, "How many times a day should I masturbate?"

Can't Understand Masturbation

*******************

Thank you for your question, CUM. You should masturbate as many times a day as you can manage! Just make sure you're alone, and stay away from windows and open doors. Mirrors are fine, though.

Mrs. Thing]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1200 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1200 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 22:30:14 +0000 jackcheese http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1258 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1258 Sat, 24 Apr 2010 09:50:42 +0100 CPDolly
Here's one in Spanish:
¿Cómo quieres que te quiera si el que quiero que me quiera mo me quiere como quiero que me quiera? Si el que quiero que me quiera no me quiere como quiero que me quiera, ¿cómo quieres que te quiera?

POST YOURS! POST LOTS OF TONGUE TWISTERS!
LOTS!!
Please :3]]> http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1221 http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/comments.php?DiscussionID=1221 Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:14:23 +0000 D
CORINNEWalters32
MccallDora30
ADELEPRICE
PatriciaFletcher34
Mcknight32HOLLY

There really is no point in continuing this pointless exercise. Give up now. We don't like you.

Also - whoever you are @unique-papers.com - wVKerry, LucyDA30, Megan35TP, GwenHT, Hannahab - you're name's not down either. You're clearly making up identities. Do you think we're stupid?

Please go away. You are boring unfunny and unwelcome.

Now I shall eat ice-cream, which is lovely.]]>